Tomorrow I am going to a(friend) of mines house. I am trying to trust more people and mostly her. She asked me to visit , she has some stuff for me. It is hard for me to get out there and hang out with people. I am so afraid that I will be hurt again.. I use to be emotional and care what others said or thought about me.. Now sometimes I am bitter and really can care less about anything. I want to be in between.. I like the fact that I don't care about what other think about me, that can stay. I just need to regain a little emotion.. I get emotional over things that aren't that important a movie or commercial. When it comes to real life its not there anymore.
I am trying to make new friends I need more people in my life. I have always said I don't wanna die alone, but you know that is mostly up to me. Oh and I would still like hanging out with my old friends, it just don't seem like we can get together and then we just seem to give up trying to.. So bad I know.
Trusting men is a different question that is something I really have to work on.. I have learned a lot not being trusting toward men/ relationships .. I have learned to take things as slow as I need to get to know a person before going to another level. Think that will help my trust issue. I am learning so I guess I can give myself a break.
I am happy that I am getting out tomorrow night.. Maybe I will find something to do Saturday too. I wish both kids had something to do, I would see if the parents would want to have an adult night out for dinner with out the kids. There is still Hope!
Maybe if I find my cam I will do a haul Blog about what friend gave me.. she's a extreme coupon- er and always has something something!!
All for now! Till Next Time! Char
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